Last night, I was looking around at the mountain of dishes from taco night, the legos all over the play room floor, the assortment of flashlights and lanterns covering the dining room table leftover from a recent storm, the full garbage cans, recycling bins, and compost bin, my dresser covered in random crap, the huge pile of clothes on my bedroom floor that I’ve cleaned out because they’re all too big, and I was CRANKY.
I thrive in clean and organized spaces.
I started going into thoughts about other people not doing their fair share, and just generally being negative about my current reality (even though my share was also messy and that’s no one’s fault but mine). I had worked all day, and I was tired. The last thing I wanted to do was clean any of it. But if I didn’t…tomorrow it would all be waiting for me. The ick I was feeling from my environment being out of whack would just be worse.
My bare minimum was to clean the kitchen. Unless I’m on my deathbed, cleaning the kitchen before bed is a non-negotiable for me. So, I cleaned the kitchen and walked into my room. UGH. There was so much crap on the surfaces. I asked myself how can I best love myself right now?
I asked myself, ‘How can I best love myself right now?’
I decided to accept my reality instead of fight it, and then I chose to address some of it so that my load would be less today. I was able to let go of the negativity in my head, and take action. Ideally, the house would never get to a point of such unravelling, but with 3 adults, 2 kids, 2 dogs and a cat…it happens quickly.
It seems sometimes that life is a series of messes and clean-ups. I am trying to recognize that as a normal part of life so that I don’t rebel so fiercely when it does indeed happen. Because, honestly? The worst part of the mess was my crappy thoughts that led to feelings of resentment, anger and irritation.
So, when I can accept that these things happen and have a loving plan to fall back on when they DO happen, it doesn’t feel like such a crisis.
And ALSO, I really thrive in clean and organized spaces. I think it is super important for me to know and honor that about myself.
Do you have something that happens constantly in your life that you would like help managing your thoughts around? Let’s tend to it lovingly. Shall we?
P.S I’m happily looking at my clean kitchen and dresser, and I have the energy to finish tidying up the rest today. I’m grateful for not quitting on myself last night…