Sometimes, the best way I can show myself and others love is by being flexible.
I find myself in this interesting place in my life where I am striving to implement routine, creating habits that serve an overall goal of wellness, balance and well-being. I’m also a mother during a pandemic. I am responsible for distance learning half of the time.
So, I have a week that is completely dedicated to me, my well-being and my 2 businesses…then, I have a week with my son and my priorities shift.
-My bedroom that I adore gets trashed multiple times a day
-My schedule revolves around my son, feeding him (sometimes that’s a full-time job!), supporting him with his schoolwork and drum practice, connecting with him to make sure we have quality time since we aren’t together full-time.
-I get challenged, demanded of, yelled at, things get thrown at me, sometimes I show up patient and kind, sometimes I walk away and cry.
Then, just as fast as the storm came, it goes. We have kisses and cuddles. Laughter and reading.
I have to remain flexible. I am building a daily routine for myself, and I have to be willing to throw it out the window sometimes. There are times when not following my well-being routine is actually the most beneficial thing I can do FOR my well-being.
It is not in my best interest to force my schedule when my son is very clearly telling me he needs me. We both end up struggling and not getting what we want. I feel resentful, angry and impatient and he feels unsupported and alone. It’s a lose-lose situation. So, in these times, I lean on flexibility.
So, what does this look like? Yesterday, I didn’t get showered and dressed for the day until 12pm. This is 3 hours later than my ideal start time. I felt gross and like my day hadn’t started, but my child communicated clearly to me that this was a day he wanted my company during school. Some days he wants to be alone and some days he wants my company. I’m not going to lie, I prefer the days he wants to be independent, but I can’t get attached to everyday being that way.
It’s only when I get attached to the outcome that I suffer. When my well-being hinges on it, and I don’t get it, I have mental drama. So, as with much of life, we have to hold it all. We have to be willing to go after what’s best for our well-being and also practice being ok in the moments we don’t get it. To go for second or third best. To adapt in the moment. Then, as soon as possible, we jump right back into our routine. With time, the time spent out of routine shortens. You get better and faster at getting right back up. When we remain flexible we find our strength and cannot be broken.
How can you incorporate more flexibility into your life?