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Showing Up

This is me showing up today. I’ve made a commitment to myself to show up and blog every Saturday. I realized have trouble with consistency. I have grit and motivation and BIG dreams and a deep desire to help people, but my consistency muscle could use some strengthening. So, I have calendared my podcast day and my blog day, and I am practicing showing up…rain or shine, excited or not, prepared or unprepared, convenient or not. I’m holding firm with myself lol in a loving way.

This week was the first week of school after 395 days. That number is pretty astounding, and we made it through. I am so glad that it was day 395 and not day 1. One of my kids decided he wanted to go to in person TK and my 3rd grader decided he wanted to finish out the school year at home. I was thrilled that they felt like they could make different decisions, and both kids seemed very happy with their choices.

I had floral arrangements to make and deliver as well as client support and check-ins for my coaching clients…it was a full plate. I was proud of my flexibility. My anxiety was relatively low, and I was grateful to myself for creating businesses that give me time freedom and flexibility.

Today, April 17th I went into the pool with the boys…2 months earlier than usual in the season. IT WAS COLD, but they were so thrilled to have a mom that would brave the cold and jump in. I want to be the person that gleefully jumps in knowing it will be cold, because that’s the mom I want them to have. I don’t want to be the mom that whines that it’s cold and sits on the sidelines. I’ve been her and everyone ends up disappointed…especially me.

I’m going to keep showing up over and over and watch as the momentum takes hold of me.

Enjoy the video!

Jumping in gleefully!

Love,

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Consistency is the Key to Greatness

I don’t know about you, but when I think of the word “consistency”, I don’t get particularly excited. I don’t feel a great sense of motivation. It’s not a super sexy word. HOWEVER, in practicing consistency, I can 100% say that consistency is a foundational skill that will lead to achieving competency and eventual mastery. If you want to change, if you want to learn a new skill, you have to practice being consistent.

I started this journey of self discovery not knowing what I was doing or where I was going, but I committed to figuring it out. My entire mind, body, spirit and financial health needed to be overhauled. It seemed like a monumental task. It began by learning how to do the things I knew would better my life….ESPECIALLY when I didn’t want to. I picked one thing to start getting consistent on and it was washing my face twice a day. It’s hard for me to admit that I was in a place where I had to start with something so basic. I had to release the judgmental thoughts as they surfaced and keep showing up to my bathroom sink and mirror everyday. It’s several years into this commitment and my success rate continues to increase and yet is still not perfect.

I think one of the gifts I gave myself that helped me tremendously was setting a goal and being willing to fail over and over again on the way to success (I get to define what success means for me and perfection is NOT it.)

Everyday was a new opportunity:

  • For me to discover the sequence of events that led me to quit.
  • To practice showing up for myself.
  • To feel failure and not quit.
  • To speak kindly to myself
  • To spend a few minutes a day looking at myself in the mirror.
  • For me to make adjustments in my routine to boost my success rate.
  • To believe something was important without receiving instant results

I got all this from learning how to consistently care for my skin…

Then I got even braver and started dipping my toe into other areas of my life where I felt I lacked consistency, and I started gaining momentum. When you practice the skill of consistency, momentum is an automatic result and momentum…well, momentum is what helps you feel like you are finally unstuck and on your way to making your dreams your reality

The formula is simple, but not always easy.

Consistency+Time=Success

Needing some help in developing consistency in your life? I’d be honored. Take a step and reach out.

Lots of Love,

Sarah Larkin signature
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This Isn’t Working…

I am really concerned for us.  So many of my peers and clients are coming to me because they are stressed out, anxious, overwhelmed, lost.  We are getting to be 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 years old…We feel like we should have figured “it” out by now, but we are dealing with the same old shit we always have.  Some of us are in the throws of parenthood and are completely baffled by what we’ve gotten ourselves into. Some of us are empty nesters and have no idea what to do with ourselves now that the kids are gone, some of us are happily single and others quite lonely, some of us are facing aging bodies and are finding asking for help to be challenging.

Some of us feel like we have been sold a load of horse crap.  Nobody told us being an adult would be like this.  Nobody prepared us for living with someone who leaves their socks on the floor everyday when we like to keep a tidy house…or never remembers garbage day or seems to no longer be excited by our mere existence like they once were.  Nobody prepares us for how to cope with breakups and divorce. Nobody prepares us on how to care for our friends when someone they love dies and they are grieving…No one teaches us how to care for ourselves when we are grieving.

There are many great teachers, philosophers, psychologists, spiritual gurus and ministers and yet it’s not enough.  We need a better plan, because what we have going on isn’t enough.  Technology is advancing at amazing rates.  The fast paced world is getting faster, we have more than we’ve ever had before and so many of us feel like we are constantly behind and un-alive…

That why I love my job…I get to help you feel alive again.  Why?  Because I know what it’s like to walk around as a shell of your once vibrant self.  I know what it’s like to grieve a relationship, to not show up as the friend, mother, partner or human that you want to be.  I know what it’s like to continually quit on yourself, to people please and to feel so wrecked by the end of the day you just want to escape into a pan of brownies, alcohol, Netflix…anything to numb and quiet the anxious chatter in your brain.

I also know how to get out of that cycle.  I know the importance of having your own back and gaining momentum in growing into your full potential. To feel the effects of talking lovingly to yourself and treating yourself with grace and compassion.  I know how to work through the pain instead of numbing it away. I know how to dream, and I can teach it.

Freedom lies on the other side of the things that scare us, and we all deserve to feel that freedom.

Want more from me?

Go check out my podcast Episode 5: You Get to Call Bullshit on Yourself

I love you my friends,

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Tapping Into Your Knowing

For over a decade, I worked full-time as a floral designer. I went through the whole process of learning a new skill. In the beginning, there is the opportunity. I was a delivery driver for a florist while in college at UC Davis, after graduation they asked me to stay on as a full time salesperson. Not knowing what I wanted to do with my Human Development degree, I said yes.

Being full-time, I had ample opportunity to consume knowledge and observe, and on one busy day, I was asked to hop in and try and help. My arrangement passed, and I was asked to make a few more for the front cooler. I felt so proud. I remember my manager telling me that I had, “the eye.” Something sparked in me. I never had anyone point out something I was good at and offer mentorship. I was thrilled to find something I was good at and eagerly accepted.

In the beginning of learning a new skill, there is doubt, awkward movement as your body adjusts to new motions, there is simply an “unknowing”. Practicing day in and day out awarded me with competency and with time, I began to relax and trust myself more.

When I opened www.sarahlarkindesign.com I decided to go all in on myself and trust that I had the skills, knowledge and talent to be successful. This was the first time I gave myself the gift of trust. The business that has sprung from that trust is truly the business of my dreams.

Flowers have taught me how to tap into my knowing

Sarah Larkin

When I decided to pursue an additional career as a Life Coach, I decided I was going to, again, go all in on myself and not waste time with doubt and fear. I had a two-fold approach to have my own back.

#1 When fear and doubt crept in, I let it in, chose to recognize it and then chose to let it go and breathe it out.

#2 I looked to flowers to help me on my coaching journey.

I wondered, what did I learn from flowers that could help me in my coaching business? Here are a few things I came up with:

  • I learned how to turn off my critical and judgmental brain so my creativity could flow unencumbered
  • I learned how to think quickly on my feet and take action
  • I learned that every flower is different and they require different growing environments
  • I learned I love tending to and helping life flourish
  • I learned how to build community
  • I’ve learned time management and emotional regulation
  • I’ve learned how to create a business that supports me in my desire for a full life of family, friends, community service, entrepreneurship, travel, spirituality, gardening and genuine and authentic connection.

At one point in my life, as my friends were going off to their corporate jobs, I felt ashamed of my job as a floral designer. But from where I am standing now, I see nothing but an incredible opportunity for me to learn how to trust myself and build a life of abundance.

Floral design and trusting myself has given me the tools and blueprints I need to be successful in whatever I want to go after in life. I was able to apply everything I learned from my time in floral design to coaching and shave off years from the process of learning a new skill.

Is there something in your life like floral design? Something you feel you are really good at? How can you apply what you learned from that skill to learning a new skill? Once you learn the skill of learning and grow that trust with yourself, WATCH OUT! That’s where the momentum really start kicking in.

I’d love to hear your stories

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Limiting Beliefs

Did you know that a belief is just a sentence in your mind that you have thought over and over? So, basically, beliefs are just habit thoughts. I find that fascinating and empowering, because it means I get to change my beliefs when they no longer serve me.

One of the beliefs I held for much of my adult life was that my body was just meant to be a bit chubby. After losing 100 pounds in my 20’s, I hovered between 165-180 pounds, and I felt good with that. Size 10’s were my thin pants.

After my divorce, I felt pretty lost for awhile. I took every day one day at a time. My favorite mantra being:

Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming

Dory

My weight kept going up and up, and I was so surprised, because I thought I had my weight under control forever, but when you face trauma… your healthy habits and good intentions can get derailed. I hit 215 lbs, and drew the line. For the past 2 years, I have been shedding the weight I accumulated. September of 2020, I hit my goal of 175. Back to “normal”. HOORAY! Except…it didn’t feel normal anymore.

I looked down at all the fat tissue still on my body and thought, “What if…?”

What if my beliefs about my body weren’t true? So, I set out to see if there was a new level of health that had been previously unexplored by me. I set out to collect more data so I could make an informed choice about my body.

Do you have a weight number that you think, “if I can just weigh _, that would be amazing?! For me, that was 150, and it seemed like an impossible goal. I thought if I ever got there, it would be the holy grail, but when I did get there, I realized I wasn’t done.

I’m now at 142, and I don’t know where I will end up, and ultimately I don’t really care about the number. What is most exciting about this journey is the questioning of my limiting beliefs. Getting good at being curious and being open to new ways is a life skill that I am taking and running with.

So much of our struggle comes from within our own minds. So, as best I can figure, it is crucial to learn the skills of curiosity and challenging ourselves to be open to new and different ways of thinking.

What beliefs do you hold about yourself that you might like to question?

I’d love to hear about them.

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Reality=Life is Hard Sometimes

I don’t think we do a good enough job teaching our children that life includes hard times. We don’t talk about the inevitabilities of life and death, and we certainly don’t teach the tools necessary to go through these inevitabilities.

So, if there are some inevitable hardships in life…

-loss of love

-loss of income

-change

-lacking purpose

-disease

-death

-substance abuse

-obesity

-mental health challenges

-having difficult conversations

-finding your place in the world

-oppression

-racism

-health challenges

There are so many more. If there are some common human experiences that many of us experience in our lifetime, why aren’t we better equipped to handle them when they happen?

I wish I had an amazing answer, but I don’t want to spend my time focusing on the answer to that. What I want to focus on is creating a plan and teaching it to as many people who are eager to learn how to go through life with a sense of knowing they can handle whatever comes their way.

I think all too often, the focus is on changing the external world in the hopes that we will no longer suffer, but that effort is futile and leads to more suffering.

We each have to have a firm foundation of believing that no matter what, we are badasses. Whatever comes our way, we will find the help we need, we will love our selves with intensity and compassion, we will not make the situation worse with our stinking thinking.

We keep trying to change reality, and I want to offer that instead we get good at accepting reality, and asking ourselves, “Now what do we do?”

Thank you for being here with me doing this very important work.

Love,

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Life is a Series of Messes and Clean-ups

Last night, I was looking around at the mountain of dishes from taco night, the legos all over the play room floor, the assortment of flashlights and lanterns covering the dining room table leftover from a recent storm, the full garbage cans, recycling bins, and compost bin, my dresser covered in random crap, the huge pile of clothes on my bedroom floor that I’ve cleaned out because they’re all too big, and I was CRANKY.

I thrive in clean and organized spaces.

I started going into thoughts about other people not doing their fair share, and just generally being negative about my current reality (even though my share was also messy and that’s no one’s fault but mine). I had worked all day, and I was tired. The last thing I wanted to do was clean any of it. But if I didn’t…tomorrow it would all be waiting for me. The ick I was feeling from my environment being out of whack would just be worse.

My bare minimum was to clean the kitchen. Unless I’m on my deathbed, cleaning the kitchen before bed is a non-negotiable for me. So, I cleaned the kitchen and walked into my room. UGH. There was so much crap on the surfaces. I asked myself how can I best love myself right now?

I asked myself, ‘How can I best love myself right now?’

I decided to accept my reality instead of fight it, and then I chose to address some of it so that my load would be less today. I was able to let go of the negativity in my head, and take action. Ideally, the house would never get to a point of such unravelling, but with 3 adults, 2 kids, 2 dogs and a cat…it happens quickly.

It seems sometimes that life is a series of messes and clean-ups. I am trying to recognize that as a normal part of life so that I don’t rebel so fiercely when it does indeed happen. Because, honestly? The worst part of the mess was my crappy thoughts that led to feelings of resentment, anger and irritation.

So, when I can accept that these things happen and have a loving plan to fall back on when they DO happen, it doesn’t feel like such a crisis.

And ALSO, I really thrive in clean and organized spaces. I think it is super important for me to know and honor that about myself.

Do you have something that happens constantly in your life that you would like help managing your thoughts around? Let’s tend to it lovingly. Shall we?

P.S I’m happily looking at my clean kitchen and dresser, and I have the energy to finish tidying up the rest today. I’m grateful for not quitting on myself last night…

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The Time Enigma and What to Do About it

Do you feel like there just isn’t enough time to show up fully to work, your spouse, your kids, your home, your friends, your church, your community, your country?

Oh wait, I forgot about you. I’m sure you have needs and desires for yourself that have nothing to do with any of those other commitments. What about personal development time? Self reflection, exercise, a healthy mind and body…It seems like we keep piling on expectations for ourselves without a plan on how to get it all done. And when we do, we are EXHAUSTED.

Here’s the big problem, when we exhaust ourselves in an effort to get it all done, we tend to sleep less, put food/alcohol/drugs/technology in our bodies that isn’t beneficial for long term health and wellness, and in general our ability to make good decisions tanks.

We then become trapped in this exhausted loop. Time is the enemy, and our self satisfaction levels drop. Our bodies require more food/alcohol/drugs/technology to get that hit to keep us going. Our anxiety sky rockets. I’ve been here, and you know how I felt? TERRIBLE. I felt like I was in a rat race, and I was running and running…and I didn’t even know how it had started or where I was going.

So, you know what I did? I pushed pause. My brain wanted to tell me there was no time to pause. It was convinced pausing would mean I would lose the race.

“But, I realized I didn’t WANT to compete in the rat race!”

What to do if not race? I turned to myself with curiosity and love. I started writing about what was important to me, and why. It turns out all of the same things were on my list: healthy mind, body, relationships and showing up in all important facets of my life…but I wanted to approach them in a way that felt inspiring instead of punitive. EnjoyableHow could I create a life that I truly loved to live? How could I give MORE of myself and to myself when I already couldn’t keep up?

First, I took a look at my relationship with time. Were there areas where I chose to engage in activities that hindered my health instead of supported? Could I give myself grace when activities took longer than expected? What if I viewed time as working in my favor instead of working against me?

“Could I give myself grace?”

Second, I developed a loving, kind and generous relationship with myself. I realized that I didn’t like living in my own body and mind…I mean, I’ve always known this, but I never realized that it was a choice, and I had no idea the damage I was causing myself by continually criticizing myself and allowing myself to treat myself with disrespect.

Once I re-evaluated time, decided there is enough time, and I consistently treated myself with kindness and respect…my energy flourished. I WANTED to show up, and I was excited to be able to. I think the motivation and intention behind our actions is crucial to sustained energy for life. We have to implement healthy habits in order to achieve our desired results and keep them.

I may still be running a race, but it’s all on my own time table. I get to take breaks. I get to decide which direction I want to go. I get to run with enthusiasm, excitement and the knowledge that I always have my own back. And, I know the “pause” button is always there…because we need to stop fighting ourselves and start fighting for ourselves.

With much love to you,

Sarah Larkin

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You Get To Have A Voice

Ok! Podcast #2 is out. I recorded it last week without hiding behind the mic, and when I watched it back, I couldn’t stop staring at my bottom teeth. My predilection for drinking tea all day in the winter in combination with not going to the dentist during the pandemic had left me with very stained teeth.

I was really pleased with how I chose to handle it, because there was no shame or self-loathing. It was like, here is reality, now what? So, I chose to spend a week being intentional. I didn’t drink black tea and I used my white strips, and I tried again this week.

After watching the playback, I was much happier with my appearance this week. Also, my message ended up drastically changing, because our Nation’s Capitol was stormed. Having and using my voice has become non-optional. Complacency is no longer an acceptable state for me to live in.

All in all, it turned out exactly as it was meant to. Even my cat Snugglewuggles makes an appearance. I could have decided to start over, but…that was real, and reality is important.

I would love your support in getting my channel going. Please leave, a like, a comment, or subscribe. Thank You!

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Loving Myself Through Anxiety

I have anxiety. Especially the last few years after my divorce and with the pandemic, it seems to be a constant companion. There is an undercurrent of worry.

Am I going to be ok?

Am I going to be able to support myself?

Is my child going to be ok?

Will I get sick? Will my family?

Am I doing enough?

Can I handle homeschooling and 2 careers?

This list is just a small sampling of the things I worry about. 🙁

From the moment I wake up, to the moment I go to sleep, I find myself with this constant companion. I have tools that I use that help keep it manageable like cluing in when I find my mind, my chest and my body tight. I stop what I’m doing throughout the day, take a deep breath and try and release it. It’s almost like magic how well it works.

I’ve also made it a goal to incorporate dancing into my day, and believe me, when I am stressed? I don’t think I have time to dance. I don’t want to dance, but I DO want to change my energy…and so, I dance. And you know what? It helps.

A few months ago, I purchased the Calm app and I find it helps me to drown out the loud children, the barking dogs, the shrieking YouTubers and my anxious thoughts. Listening to the music brings all of the noise down to a manageable level so I can function and even enjoy some of the day.

“My goal is to accept my life as it is.”

The hardest part of anxiety for me is my struggle against it. I don’t want it to be a constant companion. Sometimes, I feel like I SHOULDN’T feel this way. I hate that I feel this way. I fall into the trap of thinking my mind should be filled with rainbows and unicorns because I’m a life coach. But, while rainbows and unicorns are very much enjoyed and appreciated, that’s just not the goal.

The goal is to experience a full life. The pain, the ick, the hard AND the magical moments. My goal is to accept my life as it is. Right now. What do I need to be ok in the little moments, because those are ultimately what create the big picture that is my life.

How I treat myself in this moment, right now, matters. Learning to accept and work with reality is exactly what my practice is all about. Do you have anxiety? I’d love to hear your story and share tools with you so that you can live your very best life. Anxiety may be my companion right now, but she hangs out in the backseat. She is no longer allowed to be in the driver’s seat.

If you struggle with anxiety, I hope you know you are not alone.

With Love,

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Writing Her-story

It’s Saturday morning 2 days into the New Year. The children are happily occupied, and I had one of those moments where I found myself wandering around, compulsively checking my phone and Facebook, and generally not knowing to do with my time, my mind or my body and feeling, as usual, anxious about it.

I clued in that this is the perfect moment to center myself and do some writing. Writing has never been a habit of mine, and I’ve inflicted a lot of pain and let it cause drama in my mind, in my performance, in my relationships and in my results. In high school, I was in AP English and ended up in a remedial class in college, because I choked so hard on the written portion of the entrance exam for the University of California, Davis. I stacked the odds against myself before I even started by believing I was a terrible writer.

“I’m starting from a place of honor, grace and respect.”

My relationship with my writing has long been a tumultuous one, and as of late, I am determined to create new stories. I am inspired to look deeply at my past and all of the stories and beliefs I’ve carried forward that still cause me pain.

I take each story and ask myself:

-Do I like this story?

-Do I want to keep believing this story?

-Am I open to a new story?

I am open to and wanting a new relationship with writing. My old relationship was nothing but pain and drama and crappy results. So, slowly over the past year, I have started writing just for me. I don’t have a strict routine, and I don’t place any pressure on myself. I’m starting a relationship from a place of honor, grace and respect.

My writing is a part of my voice…of who I am. Shame and doubt are no longer welcome in this warm, fuzzy cocoon I’ve created for myself.

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You Get to Just Start


I’m a big proponent for finding organic time throughout the day to get stuff done.  This is one of those moments where my son wants to have space and time alone to watch whatever he wants on the TV without having to negotiate with other members of the household.  

So, I’m wandering around not knowing what to do with this newfound freedom, and I thought it would be an excellent time to write a blog, and let you know that I’ve put out my very first vlog!

Here it is!

Here is where I will share the backstory on all the behind the scenes, because it ended up being months of preparation, and it’s not what I imagined it to be.

I imagined it would be an audio recording with a podcast cover.  I’d put it on my website and get it all hooked up to itunes and spotify.  Well, friends, this imperfect human struggles in the IT department.  I am definitely the dreamer, the visionary, and the overall picture person and technology is definitely not my strong suit.

“I kept having to bring myself back to the entire point of the episode.”

I was determined to create a doable recording method that I could execute myself every week. I hit a lot of obstacles, and my brain wanted to throw tantrums constantly.  I kept having to bring myself back to the point of the entire episode.  How can I just start to get what I have to say out into the world?

I landed on putting videos on youtube, because that is the very best I can do with where I am starting today.  And you know what?  Tomorrow, I get to start with what I have accomplished today.  What an amazing place to start?! I am so grateful to my past self for all the work she’s done.  No need to worry about imperfections.  It’s all about just having the courage to start.

What are you wanting to “Just Start”? Maybe I can help.

Planning Our Besties’ Vacation!

Next month, my bestie and I are going to have 3 days alone together in a beautiful condo in sunny Prescott, AZ. No spouses, parents or kids!

A few months ago she texted me and asked me if I realized that we have NEVER spent time alone together.  There are always parents, spouses, or children with us.  We have been friends for 25 years!  We met as pre-teens while we were both attending Family Week in Provincetown MA … As the story goes, she pretty much followed me around and forced me to be her best friend.  It’s not an entirely inaccurate description of the beginning of our relationship…I was a very shy person who hoped to blend into the walls and never be seen and she was jumping up and down saying, I see you! I love you! I want to be your best friend lol.  And so she was.

Over the years, we’ve flown back and forth across the country to attend graduations, weddings, to meet each other’s new babies. We’ve vacationed with our families…but never just the two of us. 

Where did we want to go?  We didn’t care, we just wanted to be together.

One of the fun things about planning this trip has been that both of us are feeling more excited in our daily lives with something to look forward to.  We got to condo shop and we are sending bestie tattoo ideas back and forth.  It’s given us an opportunity to breath new life into our relationship and our everyday pandemic living lives.

We’ve also both noticed other feelings coming up that feel… less exciting.  Both of us were feeling guilty about taking time and money away from our families for something that is for pure enjoyment.  So, it’s sparked some really great conversations between us, and we’ve written a new story together about how taking this trip will actually contribute abundance in our lives, not scarcity.  It’s contributing to the greater good, not detracting. 

We are already seeing that in the days leading up to the trip.  We are feeling excited and we show up very different with our families and to our careers when we come from a place of excitement versus a place of the mundane that daily life (especially during covid times) can bring.  So, when those fears crept up, I was so proud of us because  we acknowledged them and talked about all the ways in which this trip is beneficial, and found that our fears had quieted down after we saw the big list of abundance this trip was bringing to our lives.

As each issue comes up, we are talking through them and using them as opportunities to think and feel differently. We deserve to clean up our thinking and enjoy the heck out of the 3 days we spend together just the two of us.  We don’t have to accept every thought that pops into our head as fact.  We don’t HAVE to feel guilty for pausing working our asses off so we can spend a little time rejuvenating.

I don’t think we are alone in these feelings of guilt around taking time off and going on vacation. This is a thing we as humans do.  We reach our threshold for being able to accept good things in our lives.  It starts to feel uncomfortable when we start to stretch outside of the comfort zone.  If left unnoticed, our brains will continue to supply us with thoughts that serve to knock us back down into a zone that is familiar and comfortable.  So, our job if we want to be able to grow and fully accept a life of abundance and good fortune is to learn to recognize when this is happening and to re-write the script.

Next time you plan a trip, I encourage you to pay extra attention to your mind.  What do you notice?  Do you have any recurring thoughts? Do you feel anxious?  Do you tend to fight with your spouse when you’re on vacation or getting ready for one?  Are there ways you are sabotaging your trip before you even get there?  

Leave me a comment and let me know if you’ve noticed this in your life.

Want to hear more? Check out this week’s podcast:

You Get to Go on Vacation

Love,

Sarah Larkin signature

Flexibility is a Beautiful Thing

Sometimes, the best way I can show myself and others love is by being flexible.

I find myself in this interesting place in my life where I am striving to implement routine, creating habits that serve an overall goal of wellness, balance and well-being. I’m also a mother during a pandemic. I am responsible for distance learning half of the time.

So, I have a week that is completely dedicated to me, my well-being and my 2 businesses…then, I have a week with my son and my priorities shift.

-My bedroom that I adore gets trashed multiple times a day

-My schedule revolves around my son, feeding him (sometimes that’s a full-time job!), supporting him with his schoolwork and drum practice, connecting with him to make sure we have quality time since we aren’t together full-time.

-I get challenged, demanded of, yelled at, things get thrown at me, sometimes I show up patient and kind, sometimes I walk away and cry.

Then, just as fast as the storm came, it goes. We have kisses and cuddles. Laughter and reading.

I have to remain flexible. I am building a daily routine for myself, and I have to be willing to throw it out the window sometimes. There are times when not following my well-being routine is actually the most beneficial thing I can do FOR my well-being.

It is not in my best interest to force my schedule when my son is very clearly telling me he needs me. We both end up struggling and not getting what we want. I feel resentful, angry and impatient and he feels unsupported and alone. It’s a lose-lose situation. So, in these times, I lean on flexibility.

So, what does this look like? Yesterday, I didn’t get showered and dressed for the day until 12pm. This is 3 hours later than my ideal start time. I felt gross and like my day hadn’t started, but my child communicated clearly to me that this was a day he wanted my company during school. Some days he wants to be alone and some days he wants my company. I’m not going to lie, I prefer the days he wants to be independent, but I can’t get attached to everyday being that way.

It’s only when I get attached to the outcome that I suffer. When my well-being hinges on it, and I don’t get it, I have mental drama. So, as with much of life, we have to hold it all. We have to be willing to go after what’s best for our well-being and also practice being ok in the moments we don’t get it. To go for second or third best. To adapt in the moment. Then, as soon as possible, we jump right back into our routine. With time, the time spent out of routine shortens. You get better and faster at getting right back up. When we remain flexible we find our strength and cannot be broken.

How can you incorporate more flexibility into your life?

Back to Basics

As I am writing and producing “Fall in Love with Yourself in 2021”, I am finding myself pulled to go back to basics. Many of us are struggling with the normal ins and outs of daily life…add in a pandemic, and for a lot of us we are left feeling mightily out of control 🙁

When we feel out of control, our anxiety skyrockets. Suddenly, the way we’ve always done things is either no longer available, we’ve gotten out of the habit or isn’t working for us in the same way it once did.

Unfortunately, things tend to continue in the direction the are already heading unless we consciously decide to change course. Many of us desperately want change, but we are unwilling to go through the short term hard of changing direction. It’s not our faults. There is a greater force at play here. It is the natural way of the world, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible!

I find the simple act of awareness and understanding the process of change is enough to remove some of the power fear of change has over us. So, by acknowledging that discomfort is the price of admission for growth, it no longer has such a strong hold on us and we are able to more freely go in the direction that is in the best interest of our highest selves.

So, we are going back to basics. We are focusing on looking at our daily habits and how they have led to where we are now. Most of the time, my clients come to me because they don’t like where they are in their mind, body or spirit. Now is the time to slow down and assess. Do we like the trajectory we are on? If no, let’s lovingly start by making sure we are creating a solid foundation for us to be able to build our new reality.

We start by looking at our health habits.

-Do we get enough sleep?

-Drink enough water?

-Fuel our body so we have sustained energy throughout the day?

-Move our body?

-Say kind things to ourselves everyday?

-Have a community that supports who we want to be and how we want to live?

Have routines in place that create time and space for hobbies, spirituality and personal development?

How do we do this? We shift our awareness and our intention to slowing down our current momentum of anxiety, inconsistency and habits that don’t serve us. We accept that as our current reality and focus on pushing the pause button to really assess. From there, we can start layering in habits that will lead to healthy mind, body and spirit. We practice these new habits and watch as they transform our lives and gain momentum in ways we never thought possible.

This is what Self Love looks like, my friends.

To be truly able to love yourself, you have to be able to look at yourself with curiosity and compassion. From that place, you can build a life that serves you and ditch the life that feels like you’re serving it…

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And we will get back to basics!